Another bitch session

I will probably do a lot of these actually...

The other day while I was driving my daughter to preschool I came to realize something. Kansas drivers don't know how to drive. They are terrible. I swear I nearly hit someone no less than eight times. And it was the same f-ing driver! These people need like an IQ test before we hand out the liscense. They can't drive worth a damn. The posted speed limit is 30 and they are doing 20 (no where near a school zone). These are not the old drivers either. Those are the ones doing fifteen. These are the people that do not realize that the octagon shaped signs means that you have to stop! Just because it has a white border doesn't mean that it is optional.

Here are a couple of driving tips for all those idiot Kansas drivers:

1. When you pull out, please for christsakes make sure that there is not on coming traffic. (Because if you pull out in front of me I am most likey to hit your stupid ass)

2. And if for some wild reason you feel the absolute need to pull out in front of someone, please make sure you know where your gas pedal is. (In case you forgot it is the retancular one that is vertical)

3. Drive in one lane. Pick one and commit to it for more than two seconds. No weaving between the lanes or finding the need to take up both lanes. That is another excuse to hit you.

4. There are posted speed limits for a reason. You are allowed to go that fast. It is a little more than a suggestion.

5. Cell phones are great. If you feel the need to chat while on a driving please be kind and stay in your own fucking lane! Or try this wonderful invention known as a hands free device so that you will keep both hands on the wheel.

6. Blinkers come on every car. They are not luxury items. Try using them when feeling the need to turn or change lanes. And once you are done with the manuver, turn the damn things off.

If just one of these guidelines are followed by Kansas drivers (or drivers anywhere) then the road will be a much safer place.